Singleness
is not a disease to be cured, but a distinct and important chapter of life. As society and even the church is not always kind to singles, it will be worthwhile to explore God's design for the single person. Of all the chapters in one's life, this one is one of the most challenging as it always feels like a "fork in the road" experience. So many critical decisions and not enough guidance! So much drama and not enough mentors to help us sort it all out. And with each decision, the single life can also seem like a game of billiards - one ball hits the other balls which suddenly scatter in all directions. Once the balls stop rolling, the table looks completely different....awaiting another shot to send them scattering again. [photo: singles conference 2006] In the same way, questions scatter in all directions. What is God's will for the single person? Is marriage in the near future? And how do we find the right person to marry? Oh no (!) do I have the gift of singleness? And what exactly is that gift? And what does it really mean to maximize your singleness? And how does a single person survive in a church that is family based? This website does not claim to have all the answers. But it endeavors to find some of the answers to these classic questions. This website is about leaving something behind for the next generation (click: inspiration). Who better to leave it to than the singles (!!!)...for their future...

What single adults are saying...

"Being labeled as a single adult at church can be very uncomfortable.  You are treated as if you are in a transitional phase or in some way not fully whole.  Basically, it feels like marriage should be the end-goal for everyone, so you're constantly pointed out as someone who is not yet married..."

"Singles want to be allowed to enjoy being single without having to feel like they should be looking to get married, or they just want to get married so they don't feel different or abnormal."

"I think singles need to feel like their issues aren't considered in a flippant matter...and it is important, specifically, for them to feel supported by the church."

"Perhaps if we had a healthier, more true notion of our singleness, we could have a healthier, more true interaction with the church."

"I really think that it is important to have a clearer understanding of what it means to be a single adult Christian.  What are our roles?  How do we best serve and honor God?  Are there unique ways that we can serve God's Kingdom as single adults?  How should we serve the church and one another?  What are the specific kinds of struggles and issues that this particular life stage brings with it?  What does God call single-adults to do?  So often, being single at church just means "waiting to get married."  There has to be more than that, right?  But what is it?"

Click these sample workshops:

Click to read a quick devotional on loneliness

An overview of topics covered in workshops:

What is singleness?
            A legitimate life stage
            Modern developments
            Biblical principles

12 psychological and spiritual profiles

The State of the Situation

What is the gift of celibacy and do I have it?
            Understanding the gift
            Developing the gift

What is marriage?

The priority of marriage and the single person

Motives for marriage
            Right motives
            Wrong motives

Finding Mr./Ms. Right

Balancing between prerequisites and preferences

Compatibility issues
            Modern concepts of compatibility
            Biblical Concepts of compatibility

Principles and techniques of searching

Becoming Mr./Ms. Right
            Besides general principles of sanctification
            Profile of Ms. Right
            Profile of Mr. Right

Principles of Relationships

Understanding gender differences

Christian Perspectives on Dating
            Signals:  Over-interpretation, under-interpretation
            What to look for
            Hang on or move on:  godly hope vs. foolish hope                                
            Getting him to commit
            Perspective on search engines

Unique challenges for singles:

Church life for the single
            Assessing the ministry situation for singles
            Leadership situation

The Advantages of singleness
            The hindrances of married life
            The freedom of the single life
            The focus of single life
            Your goals as a single person
            What does a healthy single life look like?

The hurting single person
            Introduction
            Broken engagement
            Pregnant (then abortion or adoption)

The neglected single person
            Introduction
                        Nowhere to go
                        No ministry in the church for them
                        The torture of singleness is compounded as society and the church rejects them
            The single parent
            The divorced
            The old single

Workshops can be one time events hosted by your church. Click workshops. Or, they can be ongoing events. Click consulting.

In the works...
click for a sneak peak

Click for other writing projects that are "in the works"

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Special resources found at: